Sexual Harassment at Work

Sexual Harassment at Work;
Women’s Rights? … or Wrongs?!

By Hoda Nassef


Where are our so-called Women’s Rights in Egypt?

Sexual Harassment on the Workforce is the Rule in Egypt, and other Middle-Eastern countries, and not the exception. It is one big criminal action that we ignore, or dismiss as trivial! We brag about “women’s rights”, just to imitate the western countries, pretending that we are as civilized as they are, with real punitive laws! For women’s real protection? Let’s face facts… and tell it how it is.

How many SILENT women were and will always be especially harassed or abused at the workforce? What did they do about it? Did they protest? Object? Complain? Or just give in, to get that ‘job’? Does the law actually implement protection for women against sexual harassment? If there is no REAL law, then the harassers will continue making life hell for girls and women, thinking it is their holy right to bother women, and we can just like it, or lump it.

Well, it all depends actually on the fair-sex’s personalities, their upbringing, and how desperate they really are for getting the job that they applied for, and are qualified for. Maybe they need the money more than upholding their principles and religious views. Or, let’s admit it… maybe they don’t mind being harassed. You have all types of women, after all, just as you find all types of men…and by this I mean the male employers. Also, there are women harassers as well, but my concern is mentioning only the majority of sex-harassers: men.

Most employers use their positions or their offices to induce or coerce women to accept their unwanted advances; the uglier they are, the more they act the part of Don Juan, because they actually cannot attract any female outside of the office. As for the women who already have a job with the harasser; the higher their pays are, the more they are likely to accept the bosses’ advances, in order to keep their jobs. The unwritten rule is “use it, or lose it”!

And how many times have women tried to apply for jobs, and during the interview or first meeting with their potential male managers or employers, they would be duped into thinking that, ‘oh there’s a decent guy at last…he’s not staring at my legs or other parts of my anatomy’ – only to discover later that they are ‘seasoned’ harassers, and know when to play it down or act cool at first, in order not to scare away the ‘victim’. Yes, victim. She is eventually the victim of his advances, and if she doesn’t like it, then she can quit. He makes that very clear too, eventually, especially after he realizes that he’s not getting to First Base with her, and never will. And so, she usually does quit, instead of telling him to jump in the Nile River, or quit himself!

So, back to job hunting, and new CVs. But, how many times did women have to delete all their previous ‘job experience’? Personally, when I used to job-hunt, I had no way of explaining to my interviewers that I left so many jobs, because my bosses were literally almost chasing me around the desk…his desk or mine, doesn’t matter. Who would believe me? (It would often be in subtle ways, such as ‘accidentally’ brushing against her, while passing by…or on purpose, such as saying lewd words or so-called ‘compliments’.) So, I would often delete some jobs that I quit, thus, leave big gaps in my ‘career’. The next questions, if the interviewers were observant enough, would be why I wasn’t working during so-and-so period, and what did I do between jobs.

Getting pissed off by the inquisition, I would there and then decide that I didn’t want the job anyway, so my retort would often be flippant, such as, ‘I’m filthy-rich, and don’t really need the job,’ or, ‘I’m saving up for a world cruise, and you’re my last stop…for next month,’ … or anything dumb like that, just to get back at the idiots. Once or twice, however, I would admit that I was being harassed by the previous manager(s), and had no choice but to leave. Whether they believed me or not wasn’t the issue, but I avoided lying, whenever I could.

I will give you some hints on the types of harassers, and they come in all shapes, sizes, forms, age, and background. Following is my personal portfolio of all the freaks I’ve met…and each category of Freak consists of 5 to ten of them! I lost count….

Now, meet GM Harasser Number One: He’s ugly, so has an inferiority complex, and wants to prove to himself that he isn’t ugly.

GM Harasser Number Two: He’s an opportunist, and from a low background, and wants to get into the circle of this females’ friends and acquaintances; being attractive to boot is all the better for him, so why not give it a try?

GM Harasser Number Three: He’s a natural womanizer, and conceited, thinking that because he is attracted to the interviewee (you) at first sight, you reciprocate the same attraction!

GM Harasser Number Four: He’s married, but bored with his wife, and wants to renew his libido, stamina, or whatever he thinks is lacking!

GM Harasser Number Five: He’s married, relatively satisfied with his boring wife, but he’s getting on in age – or is middle-aged – or is actually old, and wants to prove that he isn’t; so, the younger she is, the better it is for his ego…libido, whatever!

GM Harasser Number Six: He’s actually drop-dead attracted to you, but you aren’t, and he will employ you, woo you, do anything for you, just to get you in bed, then drop you! (No, I was never that dumb, nor that immoral! So, gals, hang in there, and don’t go on ego-trips yourselves! Don’t believe everything you hear from these horny bastards. These types just go raving mad if you so much as dare to reject them, let alone politely turn them down. Then they turn downright vindictive, so…beware…let them down, nicely, if you can.) For him, it’s a Package Deal on First Sight; the Job AND Him, or you go the highway… and he goes the low way! (I heard that rhyme from one big ass harasser, by the way! He’ll know whom I’m talking about, if he reads this!)

GM Harasser Number Seven: He’s not so hot physically, and deep inside knows it; the less of a man he is, the more he tries to prove that he’s Tarzan…with you as Jane. He’ll stop at nothing to get you, and beware of this type too; he’ll defame your name (behind your back) and tell all his buddies and cronies that you were a one-night stand, or some such scenario. Anything in that line, just to secretly get back at you, and your rejection.

GM Harasser Number Eight: He’s a cool customer and you actually have no clue yet that he has an eye on you. You are employed by this type, and then start working in a relatively relaxed atmosphere, not aware that he is all the time calculating and laying out his strategy to lure you into his trap. Then one day he may casually invite you for lunch or a meal outside, making you believe that the whole company or department would be there. That happened recently to me; my boss invited me for Iftar, after making it known that the company always has one such occasion for the whole staff. Being new on the force, and unaware of the manoeuvre, I innocently asked him, ‘Who’s coming from the Department?’ His answer was a nonchalant, ‘It will be very limited.’ And then he gave me the name of the restaurant to join the staff at the appropriate time. The ‘limited’ staff was himself, alone! So, I was forced on a private date…after the meal, I new it would be the beginning of the end of my short career with them!

Officially Defining Sexual Harassment:

Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates part of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Sexual harassment at work threatens your self-esteem and confidence; it stops you from working effectively, undermines your dignity, and can affect your health and happiness. Sexual harassment is unwelcome behaviour of a sexual nature, and even just one isolated act is enough to amount to it. It could take the form of sexual innuendo or lewd comments about your appearance or sex life, whether these are written or spoken. It could be a physical act, for example, deliberately brushing up against you or trying to caress you. Or, it could be more general, where, for example, the environment of the workplace creates a hostile or humiliating atmosphere for you. This could be the result of sexually explicit material displayed in the workplace, the downloading of internet porn by other employees, or other behaviour that creates an uncomfortable environment. Nobody should be subjected to it. The unfortunate reality is that it is happens all too often.

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.
If you are unhappy with the way your employer has dealt with your grievance, or if your harasser is your employer, then you should take legal action. You can bring a sexual harassment claim regardless of how long you have worked for your employer, or how many hours you work. This option is available to you whether you are a man or a woman, and whatever age or sexual orientation you are. If you have previously had a relationship with the harasser then you can still bring a claim. You can bring a claim even if the harassment happened at your job interview.
The employer cannot argue that he or she did not intend to harass. If the behaviour undermined your dignity on the basis of your gender then it is discriminatory by law.

Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances, including but not limited to the following:

· The victim as well as the harasser may be a woman or a man. The victim does not have to be of the opposite sex.
· The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, an agent of the employer, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or a non-employee.
· The victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct.
· Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without economic injury to or discharge of the victim.
· The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome.

International Laws not Adapted or Applied in Egypt:

Luckily for the American women, a variety of laws exist to protect them. When will these laws be adapted in Egypt? In the USA, for example, your employer has a duty to provide a safe system of work, safe equipment and competent employees. Consequently, he or she has a responsibility to protect you from harassment. They are also protected by the Sex Discrimination Act, which guards you against less favourable treatment because of your sex. Similar laws apply in Scotland as in England and Wales.

It is helpful for the victim to directly inform the harasser that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. The victim should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available.

When investigating allegations of sexual harassment, EEOC looks at the whole record: the circumstances, such as the nature of the sexual advances, and the context in which the alleged incidents occurred. A determination on the allegations is made from the facts on a case-by-case basis.

If you keep quiet about harassment, the employer might argue that the behaviour was not unwelcome at the time, or that you have fabricated the story after leaving the job. According to an Equal Opportunities Commission report in 2001, however, nearly half of all applicants bringing tribunal claims between 1998 and 2001 had not made formal complaints while still employed. The reasons given were fear of receiving poor references, fear of harming their careers, embarrassment and concern they would not be believed.

Prevention is the best tool to eliminate sexual harassment in the workplace. Employers are encouraged to take steps necessary to prevent sexual harassment from occurring. They should clearly communicate to employees that sexual harassment will not be tolerated. They can do so by establishing an effective complaint or grievance process and taking immediate and appropriate action when an employee complains.

Sexual harassment claims are founded on the Sex Discrimination Act, on the basis that the (female) victims were discriminated against because of their gender. Furthermore, if their employers decide not to investigate, and the harassed leave their jobs because they can no longer bear the harassment, then they could claim constructive unfair dismissal. This means the employer's action, or lack of action, caused them to hand in their notice, even though the women/girls were not directly asked to leave.

European Union agencies have recognized that reluctance to complain is a distinguishing characteristic of sexual harassment. Employment tribunals are increasingly acknowledging that workers may have good reasons for delaying their complaint, and they examine the individual circumstances of each case when making decisions.

What action should you take?

If you are experiencing sexual harassment in any or all of its forms, then there are steps you can take. First, you should make it clear that you find the behaviour inappropriate and unwelcome. When you do this, speak clearly and do not smile or apologise. If possible, confront your harasser in front of another person who you trust. You could also write to your harasser, if you find it too difficult to directly confront him or her, and you should keep a copy of the document.
If the behaviour continues, keep a diary of when and where it happened, what occurred, and who was there to witness it. Report the behaviour to your employer, who is then obliged by law to take action to investigate it and prevent it happening again. Take notes of any meetings with your employer about it. Many workplaces will have a specific procedure in place to deal with such complaints.

If other people are experiencing harassment, ask them to keep notes as well and to also make a complaint. If an employment agency organized your work placement, then tell them. If you are a member of a trade union, it is a good idea to let them know about the problems you are experiencing. If your health is suffering, then tell your doctor. In some cases the harassment may technically amount to assault or another criminal offence, in which case you should report it to the police. At a later stage, if the harassment continues, you may need to prove that you took every step to stop the behaviour.

There are many other categories of harassers, but there would be no space to name them all. If you spot one during the interview, don’t think that you can take the job and smugly assume ‘oh, I can handle him.’ Some men stop at nothing. But, I want to point out that I am always conservatively dressed during interviews, and in fact am a bit conservative by nature, so don’t get the impression at the end that perhaps I’m giving out the ‘wrong signals’… I don’t. Or rather, I didn’t.

Unfortunately, there exists no real law for defamation of name, slander, and all types of male abuse and harassment. If on the job or workforce, it’s often a matter of His word, against yours. Hardly any colleague would risk losing his or her job, to take your side! There is no protection for women, and less for relatively attractive women, nor legal punishment for the abusers and harassers.

We women live in a jungle here in Egypt …and that’s a fact. Sexual harassment at work is a subject not mentioned nor defined by any laws here. The ‘victims’ are too embarrassed to complain, and find it futile even if they do. The more attractive she is, the more she has to struggle to survive, and the more she has to prove that she’s not an object of abuse, let alone keep her name and justified honour intact. At the extreme end of sexual harassment, even raped victims prefer to remain quiet, rather than sue the harasser and keep the stigma of shame. Somehow, they are always the ones to be blamed in the end.


h.n.

Bad Summer for Egypt!

BAD SUMMER FOR EGYPT!

Egypt abduction talks 'ongoing'

Egypt says negotiations are still ongoing to secure the release of 19 people abducted in southern Egypt.

A cabinet spokesman said that an earlier announcement by the foreign minister that they had been freed and were safe and well was premature.
The group includes five Italians, five Germans and a Romanian, along with eight Egyptians.

The government says they were taken across the border into Sudan, and the hostage takers have demanded a ransom.

The 19 were seized near the Gilf al-Kebir plateau, close to the Libyan and Sudanese borders.

Foreign Minister Ahmed Abul Gheit originally reported their release ahead of a meeting with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in New York.
He said the hostages were "safe and sound".

But the cabinet spokesman, Magdy Radi, later said: "It is premature to say they are released. The negotiations are still continuing."

Tour owner's call

Egyptian officials say contact has been made with the kidnappers in Sudan, and that they are seeking a ransom of up to $6m (£3.24m).

The tourism ministry said those abducted along with the foreigners were two guides, four drivers, a guard and the owner of the travel company who had organised the excursion.

Gilf al-Kebir is a giant plateau famous for its prehistoric cave paintings, which featured in the 1996 film The English Patient.

The BBC's Ian Pannell in Cairo says local guides have indicated that the Gilf al-Kebir area has become increasingly unsafe this year.

Another group of foreigners was held at gunpoint in February and three of their vehicles were taken.

An investigation at the time pointed the blame at smugglers and bandits.
Our correspondent says there has been criticism that the Egyptian military has not done enough to patrol the area despite the increased threat.


Tourist abduction blow for Mubarak

As 11 European tourists are abducted in south-west Egypt, the BBC's Arab affairs analyst Magdi Abdelhadi assesses the likely fall out of the incident.

Egypt is a popular destination for European tourists
Tourism matters a lot for the Egyptian economy. It brings in some $8bn (£4.3bn) a year, which is more than 6% of the country's gross domestic product.

One of the most likely consequences of a kidnap incident like this is that it will dent Egypt's reputation as a safe destination for foreign tourists.

It is thought that five Italians, five Germans and a Romanian were taken along with eight Egyptian travel guides and drivers last Friday.

The abduction is believed to have taken place near the Gilf al-Kebir plateau in southern Egypt. Unconfirmed reports say the hostages have been taken across the border into Sudan.

The Egyptian tourism minister says negotiations are under way to secure their release.

Bad news

Whatever the motives of the kidnappers, be they political or just criminal, there is no doubt that the incident is a serious blow to the administration of President Hosni Mubarak.

The kidnap comes at the end of a period of bad news for Mr Mubarak's government that has prompted growing calls for a change of leadership inside Egypt.

Mr Mubarak has been in power for nearly 30 years. His critics will see the kidnapping of foreign tourists as yet another example of government failure, despite the exceptional powers given to the police and the enormous resources allocated to security.

Earlier this month, the authorities were accused of responding slowly to a massive rock slide at a shanty town near Cairo that killed more than 100 people.

And before that, the city's fire brigade failed to extinguish a blaze that destroyed a historic building (actually AN OLD PALACE used for the parliaments) in central Cairo housing the upper chamber of parliament.


h.n.

"Bedouin Obama"!!!

'Bedouin' Obama!
Nearly 8,000 Arab Bedouins in northern Israel are claiming kinship with US president-elect Barack Obama. (Reuters)

Islam Online News:


CAIRO — Already having relatives extending from Hawaii to Kenya, nearly 8,000 Arab Bedouins in northern Israel are also claiming kinship with America's new president-elect, Barack Obama.

"We knew about it years ago but we were afraid to talk about it because we didn't want to influence the election," Arab Bedouin elder Abdul Rahman Sheikh Abdullah told The Times on Thursday, November 13.

"We wrote a letter to him explaining the family connection."

Abdullah, from the village of Bir al-Maksour in Galilee region, says his 95-year-old mother first noticed that Obama looked like one of the African migrant workers in the British-mandated Palestine in 1930s.

One of those migrants, who sometimes used to marry local Bedouin girls, was a relative of Obama's Kenyan grandmother, says Abdullah. Abdullah says he has papers and pictures supporting his claim, but would not divulge them until Obama is in the White House. "We want to send a delegation to congratulate him, and we know we'll get an answer soon."

Obama was elected America's first black president last week after crushing his Republican rival John McCain.

Born in Hawaii, the Illinois senator is the son of a Muslim-turned-atheist Kenyan father and a white American mother.

He lived from ages 6 to 10 in Indonesia with his mother and Muslim stepfather. Bedouins are traditionally pastoral semi-nomadic Arab tribes indigenous to the Negev region.

“Relative Obama”

Bedouins have been distributing sweets and dishes of baklava and pastries in celebration of Obama's election win.

"We knew he'd win," Abdullah said, constantly interrupted by a barrage of phone calls from well-wishers. "We have always been a lucky family.

Two baby boys born into Abdullah's large clan have been named Obama. Congratulators have been also flocking to Abdullah's region to pay their respects to the "Bedouin Obama".

"Everyone is talking about [Sheikh Abdullah's ties to Mr Obama] . . . They believe it," said Sheikh Issam al-Khalil from the occupied southern Lebanese town of Ghajar.

"The sheikhs from all the villages are talking about it. There's a whole delegation of Druze leaders coming from the Golan Heights to congratulate him."

Many Bedouins hope that their "relative" Obama will solve their problems. "We hope to God that Obama will solve the problem of Ghajar," said Khalil. Abdullah, the Bedouin elder, is also hopeful.

"We hope he'll end all wars and intervene here to solve our problems in Israel. The Bedouin are the people who suffer the most here."




Hoda Nassef

Don Quixote...or, Who Shot the Donkies?!

Don Quixote – or: Who Shot the Donkeys?

By Hoda Nassef

(An Egyptian Mini-Don Quixote)


When something goes right in Egypt, I simply Love My Country and praise the Good People and Good Deeds, while smiling with contentment like a Cheshire Cat. But, when something goes wrong, I become a Part and Parcel of the disgruntled Voice for the People of Egypt, like waving an Invisible Sword of Justice – as Don Quixote – fighting by pen instead of a sword for my family’s legal rights first, and ‘my People’ second, however often it falls flat and in vain, and then waiving my rights not out of resignation, but out of sheer exhaustion, with the results more like “Who shot the donkeys of Egypt?”…and then I go on to my next Quest, or it is thrown upon me.

h.n.

Genius & Philosopher George Carlin Dies

George Carlin mourned as counterculture hero

GEORGE CARLIN DIES AT 71

By KEITH ST. CLAIR, Associated Press Writer 21 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES - Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. Some People Are Stupid. Stuff. People I Can Do Without. George Carlin, who died of heart failure Sunday at 71, leaves behind not only a series of memorable routines, but a legal legacy: His most celebrated monologue, a frantic, informed riff on those infamous seven words, led to a Supreme Court decision on broadcasting offensive language.

The counterculture hero's jokes also targeted things such as misplaced shame, religious hypocrisy and linguistic quirks? “Why”, he once asked, “do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?”

Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica on Sunday afternoon complaining of chest pain and died later that evening, said his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas.

"He was a genius and I will miss him dearly," Jack Burns, who was the other half of a comedy duo with Carlin in the early 1960s, told The Associated Press.

The actor Ben Stiller called Carlin "a hugely influential force in stand-up comedy. He had an amazing mind, and his humor was brave, and always challenging us to look at ourselves and question our belief systems, while being incredibly entertaining. He was one of the greats."
Carlin constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the "Seven Words”? All of which are taboo on broadcast TV to this day.
When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.

When the words were later played on a New York radio station, they resulted in a 1978 Supreme Court ruling upholding the government's authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language during hours when children might be listening.

"So my name is a footnote in American legal history, which I'm perversely kind of proud of," he told The Associated Press earlier this year.

Despite his reputation as unapologetically irreverent, Carlin was a television staple through the decades, serving as host of the "Saturday Night Live" debut in 1975, noting on his Web site that he was "loaded on cocaine all week long” and appearing some 130 times on "The Tonight Show."
He produced 23 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, a few TV shows and appeared in several movies, from his own comedy specials to "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" in 1989 a testament to his range from cerebral satire and cultural commentary to downright silliness (sometimes hitting all points in one stroke).

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?" he once mused. "Are they afraid someone will clean them?"

In one of his most famous routines, Carlin railed against euphemisms he said have become so widespread that no one can simply "die."

"'Older' sounds a little better than 'old,' doesn't it," he said. "Sounds like it might even last a little longer. ... I'm getting old. And it's OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won't have to die. I'll 'pass away.' Or I'll 'expire,' like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they'll call it a 'terminal episode.' The insurance company will refer to it as 'negative patient care outcome.' And if it's the result of malpractice they'll say it was a 'therapeutic misadventure.'"

Carlin won four Grammy Awards for best spoken comedy album and was nominated for five Emmys. On Tuesday, it was announced that Carlin was being awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, which will be presented Nov. 10 in Washington and broadcast on PBS.

"Nobody was funnier than George Carlin," said Judd Apatow, director of recent hit comedies such as "Knocked Up" and "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." "I spent half my childhood in my room listening to his records experiencing pure joy. And he was as kind as he was funny."

Carlin started his career on the traditional nightclub circuit in a coat and tie, pairing with Burns to spoof TV game shows, news and movies. Perhaps in spite of the outlaw soul, "George was fairly conservative when I met him," said Burns, describing himself as the more left-leaning of the two. It was a degree of separation that would reverse when they came upon Lenny Bruce, the original shock comic, in the early '60s.

"We were working in Chicago, and we went to see Lenny, and we were both blown away," Burns said, recalling the moment as the beginning of the end for their collaboration if not their close friendship. "It was an epiphany for George. The comedy we were doing at the time wasn't exactly groundbreaking, and George knew then that he wanted to go in a different direction."
That direction would make Carlin as much a social commentator and philosopher as comedian, a position he would relish through the years.

"The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things" bad language and whatever?" "It's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition," Carlin told the AP in a 2004 interview. "There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. ... It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have."

Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, and grew up in the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan, raised by a single mother. After dropping out of school in the ninth grade, he joined the Air Force in 1954. He received three court-martials and numerous disciplinary punishments, according to his official Web site.

While in the Air Force he started working as an off-base disc jockey at a radio station in Shreveport, La., and after receiving a general discharge in 1957, took an announcing job at WEZE in Boston.

"Fired after three months for driving mobile news van to New York to buy pot," his Web site says.

From there he went on to a job on the night shift as a deejay at a radio station in Fort Worth, Texas. Carlin also worked variety of temporary jobs, including carnival organist and marketing director for a peanut brittle.

In 1960, he left with $300 and Burns, a Texas radio buddy, for Hollywood to pursue a nightclub career as comedy team Burns & Carlin. His first break came just months later when the duo appeared on Jack Paar's "Tonight Show."

Carlin said he hoped to emulate his childhood hero, Danny Kaye, the kindly, rubber-faced comedian who ruled over the decade Carlin grew up in, in the 1950s, with a clever but gentle humor reflective of the times.

It didn't work for him, and the pair broke up by 1962. "I was doing superficial comedy entertaining people who didn't really care: Businessmen, people in nightclubs, conservative people. And I had been doing that for the better part of 10 years when it finally dawned on me that I was in the wrong place doing the wrong things for the wrong people," Carlin reflected recently as he prepared for his 14th HBO special, "It's Bad For Ya."

Eventually Carlin ditched the buttoned-up look for his trademark beard, ponytail and all-black attire. But even with his decidedly adult-comedy bent, Carlin never lost his childlike sense of mischief, even voicing kid-friendly projects like episodes of the TV show "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends" and the spacey Volkswagen bus Fillmore in the 2006 Pixar hit "Cars."
Carlin's first wife, Brenda, died in 1997. He is survived by wife Sally Wade; daughter Kelly Carlin McCall; son-in-law Bob McCall; brother Patrick Carlin; and sister-in-law Marlene Carlin.
___

Associated Press writer Christopher Weber contributed to this report. Hoda Nassef edited some of the punctuations & contributed the title and photo.

How To Save The Airlines

How to Save The US Airlines!

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell --- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right --- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?


Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Save The New Gourna of Hassan Fathy

SAVE THE NEW GOURNA!

By Hoda Nassef


Introduction:

The professors of the Department of Art History and of the Master in Environmental Sciences of Geneva University wish to make an emergency appeal for the registration of the village of New Gourna (Egypt). This exceptional masterpiece of contemporary architecture has been known worldwide and belongs to the artistic as well as intellectual heritage of Humanity.

This heritage has already been severely damaged to somewhat general indifference. Every measure should now be rapidly carried out to preserve what is left, restore what has been altered and reconstruct what has disappeared to bring it back to its original form and signification.

Hassan Fathy’s New Gourna village cannot simply disappear in inertia and unconcern. The lessons of know-how/savoir-faire, human solidarity and appropriate technology put in the hands of a poor community are served by an extraordinary formal modern architectural language. They should continue to testify to future generations, as the architect himself would have wished, the possibilities of reasoned development in emergent countries.

The Importance of Hassan Fathy’s works…

His career cannot be limited to this only realisation. Hassan Fathy (1900-1989) is among the most important architects of Africa and the Middle East. As an intellect, writer, humanist, architect and scientist, he deeply influenced generations of architects and engineers throughout the world by his constructions as well as by his thoughts.

Hassan Fathy was born in Alexandria and worked mainly in Egypt except during five years he spent in Greece were he worked in the very cosmopolite Dioxides Agency in Athens (1957-1962). He became internationally famous after the success of the publication of Gourna, a Tale of two Villages in 1969, republished in 1973 under the name of Architecture for the Poor: An Experiment in Rural Egypt. The tremendous impact of the book shook the whole world and had significant repercussions in the western academic circles.

The richness of Hassan Fathy’s anthropological thought, his authentic social concern and the wisdom of his reasoning underlying the architectural experience, have had an international impact which has yet to be assimilated in the era of the sustainable development we are now entering. The notion of “appropriate technology” formulated by Hassan Fathy in the twilight of his life has not been sufficiently acknowledged, in particular in emergent countries.

Hassan Fathy had a prolific mind and was impassioned for numerous subjects. He designed and constructed projects of various natures; from modern constructions in armed concrete in the 1930’s and private residences built with stone to projects of the “Ideal City” for Baghdad and Karachi during his Greek period. He addressed all types of programmes such as villas, farms, mosques, social health centres, schools, theatres, peasant villages and tourist villages. As a true researcher in the field of architecture and construction, he endeavoured himself to develop construction technologies inventing solutions appropriate to the climatic circumstances of hot arid countries. Although the project of NEW GOURNA is one of his important works, his career cannot be limited to this only realisation.

Architect Hassan Fathy was a defender of traditional know-how and art crafts, which were threatened to disappear in favour of industrialized products imported from the West. Ideologically close to the artists of his time, like the group of the “Friends of Art and Life” founded in the 1930’s around the personality of Hamed Saïd, he preferred techniques which required the hand of man, believing they could bring happiness and dignity.

Hassan Fathy whilst being conscious of the importance of educating his compatriots and contemporaries, left numerous works and reports and gave a multitude of conferences. The memos, drafts, booklets scribbled with thoughts, notebooks and sketches are innumerable and constitute the most considerable part of the archive’s collection currently conserved at the American University in Cairo (AUC Rare Books Library) and Special Collections (RBLSC). The classification of this material which is ongoing widens the knowledge of the vast and prolific production of this man. During his life, he never received the recognition and grandstand he deserved, even though in his late years, strangers from all over the world desirous to benefit from his precepts, visited his house in Darb el Labana every day.

Although Hassan Fathy was marginalized in his country, he was related to the international intelligentsias and he dedicated part of his career to expertise in the fields of development, African architecture and heritage. The thousands of photographs conserved at the RBLSC prove that he travelled in numerous countries all over the world in Africa, Asia, the Middle East, Europe and the United-States. As a consultant to international organizations and UN agencies, he elaborated development projects for countries such as Egypt, Iraq, Palestine and Pakistan.

During his travels, he would always closely study the local architecture, whether modern or vernacular, as well as art crafts. These experiences were part of his training as an architect and a theorist. Therefore he often illustrated his conferences and articles with examples of architecture or town-planning he discovered abroad.

The misfortune seems to be fiercely attached to Hassan Fathy’s production as several significant buildings have already disappeared: the Bosphore Casino (1932) commissioned by the Koudsy brothers on the Train Station Square (Bab el-Hadid) in Cairo has fallen, several Deco villas from the 1930’s have been pulled down, the villa he built for his wife, Aziza Hassanein, was destroyed during the creation of the Maadi corniche and the legendary house of the artist and potter Hamed Saïd in el-Marg is now surrounded by a hostile environment. At present, the villa Toussoun Abu Gabal is threatened by the land-bank implemented in the surroundings of the new Four Seasons Hotel. Recently, two houses built in the village of New Bariz (Kharga) have suffered renovations which totally altered them.

Hassan Fathy, along with contemporary figures such as Naguib Mahfouz, Um Kalthoum or Yussef Shahin, incarnates the Egyptian genius. Nowadays, who would even think of letting the Trilogy of Mahfouz, Um Kalthoum’s songs or the cinematographic heritage of Yussef Shahin disappear? Meanwhile, because of quasi-general inactivity and fatalism, the outstanding executions of a prominent architect are falling one after the other and NEW GOURNA is gradually vanishing.

New Gourna:

An Outstanding ConceptionHassan Fathy’s owes his international recognition to the publication of Gourna, a Tale of two Villages which recounts the adventure of the construction of the village of NEW GOURNA. The project and execution of this model-village for a poor traditional rural community, at the dawn of the 1950’s, constitutes an experience without precedent in Egypt. If the book narrating this experience still has an international echo today, the village which testifies of this unique and original attempt is in an advanced state of deterioration.

In 1945, The Department of Antiquities and the Director of Excavations assigned Hassan Fathy to execute a new village, upstream of the old village of Gourna, behind the Memnon Colossuses. This pilot-village should relocate the inhabitants of Old Gourna far away from the ‘pharaonic’ sites. The Gourna residents will oppose a strong resistance to this displacement. Recently, more than half a century later, they have been constrained by force to leave their houses in Old Gourna destroyed by bulldozers.

This project addressed to the modest Egyptian peasantry should be put in parallel with the researches of modern European architects of the Interwar: in the domain of social housing for the working-class (Britz or Siemensstadt in Berlin by H. Sharoun, W. Gropius, B. Taut or the Kiefhook housing project in Rotterdam by J.J.P. Oud) and in the field of model villages of the Reconstruction which are starting to be seriously studied (Bousquel in France by Bossu and projects by Thomas Sharp in Great-Britain).Before projecting anything, Hassan Fathy analyzed the existing situation. Indeed, he tried to improve the sanitary facilities and enhance the living conditions of the Gourna fellahs while preserving their cultural traditions. In order to build a new village that can answer the needs and customs of the inhabitants, he carried out a meticulous ethnographic approach by observing the functioning of Old Gourna. He studied the familial (badana) and social structure of the clans or tribes and the way of life of the ‘Gournis’. These observations will dictated the village-planning principles.

Hassan Fathy also analysed the lucrative activities of the Gournis: in addition to land cultivation which provides them with insufficient resources, are the licit incomes from art crafts and the illicit ones from fraudulent antiquity commerce. This fact will favour his idea of promoting a large variety of art crafts in the new village by perpetrating existing local traditions and reintroducing ancestral know-how.

In his search for low cost constructive solutions, Hassan Fathy used the technology of raw earth which he had already successfully experimented with in many circumstances. The material is costless and requires a technique that the Nubians still master. He wished to hand over this knowledge to the Gournis to enable them to build their own houses themselves without the need of an architect. This self-help system would guaranty the durability of the village because it could develop itself in a sustainable way without an architect or professional masons for which the Gournis did not have the means. This pilot-project was to serve as a model for the construction of other low cost villages in the poor rural areas of Egypt.

An Exceptional Execution

The site of Gourna is located on the western bank of the Nile at the level of Luxor with which it constitutes Ancient Thebes. The western bank bears the pharaoh’s necropolises (the Valley of the Kings, the Valley of the Queens and the Tombs of the Nobles), which number among the most visited sites of Egypt. As from the eighteenth century, inhabitations have been built close by the tombs. This is what we call the Old Gourna that has just been evacuated and demolished since December 2006 despite international protests.Hassan Fathy was to design the project on a flat parcel in a 50-acre hosh of farmable land, bought from Boulos Hanna Pasha, protected by dykes and situated close to the main road and the railway. It is on that peace of land that he freely designed the project of a pilot village to relocate 7000 Gournis. Between 1946 and 1949 he accomplished only a part of the designed plan. The work was suspended for lack of political support.

This village resembles neither the traditional villages nor the attempts to design modern Egyptian villages. It can be qualified as an ideal village in as much as the Saline de Chaux by Claude-Nicolas Ledoux was an industrial ideal town at the end of the Enlightenment. Hassan Fathy built Gourna in accordance with his (high) idea of what should be an Egyptian village at the in the midst of the twentieth century. The richness of the profoundly humanist programme of New Gourna constitutes a Unicom in the history of village-planning. It resulted to a very ambitious project, maybe too ambitious for its time and place.The fellah was to be lodged with his family and animals in a house designed according to his own needs. He would breed his stock, cultivate the land in the surroundings of the village and also produce art crafts (weaving, pottery etc.) in the crafts school and the khan. He would sell the harvest of his farming in a nice shaded market and his art crafts products in a hall built for this purpose. He would practise his religion either in a Mosque with pure lines or in a church (which was not constructed). He would dispose of a meeting place for celebrations and feasts. His children would be sent to two distinct schools, one for the girls and the other for the boys. He would participate in the popular folkloric entertainments taking place in the theatre or on the esplanade situated just behind it. Part of the constructions (mosque, theatre, khan, market etc.) still exists today and does not appear as over dimensioned, considering the fact that Fathy was planning a possible population growth of 20.000 inhabitants.

Hassan Fathy was to design the project on a flat parcel in a 50-acre hosh of farmable land, bought from Boulos Hanna Pasha, protected by dykes and situated close to the main road and the railway. It is on that peace of land that he freely designed the project of a pilot village to relocate 7000 Gournis. Between 1946 and 1949 he accomplished only a part of the designed plan. The work was suspended for lack of political support.

This village resembles neither the traditional villages nor the attempts to design modern Egyptian villages. It can be qualified as an ideal village in as much as the Saline de Chaux by Claude-Nicolas Ledoux was an industrial ideal town at the end of the Enlightenment. Hassan Fathy built Gourna in accordance with his (high) idea of what should be an Egyptian village at the in the midst of the twentieth century. The richness of the profoundly humanist programme of New Gourna constitutes a Unicom in the history of village-planning. It resulted to a very ambitious project, maybe too ambitious for its time and place.The fellah was to be lodged with his family and animals in a house designed according to his own needs. He would breed his stock, cultivate the land in the surroundings of the village and also produce art crafts (weaving, pottery etc.) in the crafts school and the khan. He would sell the harvest of his farming in a nice shaded market and his art crafts products in a hall built for this purpose. He would practise his religion either in a Mosque with pure lines or in a church (which was not constructed). He would dispose of a meeting place for celebrations and feasts. His children would be sent to two distinct schools, one for the girls and the other for the boys. He would participate in the popular folkloric entertainments taking place in the theatre or on the esplanade situated just behind it. Part of the constructions (mosque, theatre, khan, market etc.) still exists today and does not appear as over dimensioned, considering the fact that Fathy was planning a possible population growth of 20,000 inhabitants.

Hassan Fathy was to design the project on a flat parcel in a 50-acre hosh of farmable land, bought from Boulos Hanna Pasha, protected by dykes and situated close to the main road and the railway. It is on that peace of land that he freely designed the project of a pilot village to relocate 7000 Gournis. Between 1946 and 1949 he accomplished only a part of the designed plan. The work was suspended for lack of political support.

This village resembles neither the traditional villages nor the attempts to design modern Egyptian villages. It can be qualified as an ideal village in as much as the Saline de Chaux by Claude-Nicolas Ledoux was an industrial ideal town at the end of the Enlightenment. Hassan Fathy built Gourna in accordance with his (high) idea of what should be an Egyptian village at the in the midst of the twentieth century. The richness of the profoundly humanist programme of New Gourna constitutes a Unicom in the history of village-planning. It resulted to a very ambitious project, maybe too ambitious for its time and place.The boys’ school (which has been demolished) was situated in the North-West sector of the village.

The design of the village, deliberately irregular, between grid and radio-centric systems, was to develop the imaginary and encourage a rich and varied architecture. The village is divided in four major parts, separated by streets of at least 10m. large, corresponding to the four Gourna tribes.

A system of secondary streets, not exceeding a width of 6m., protects the intimacy of the badanas and dissuades strangers from entering. The inner court houses are assembled in more or less complex sectors open at the angles. This design deliberately avoids any systematic or symmetrical character and repetitions which lead, as says Fathy, “to boring ranges of identical housings that are considered to be what the poor deserve … and are harmful to the human well-being of Man.”

To solve the economic question of the rural village programme, Hassan Fathy used raw brick. This choice is determined by his knowledge of architecture and monuments of upper-Egypt. Indeed, in regions which are poor in wood, one has to imagine other roofing systems. The vaults and cupolas in raw brick like the Ramasseum, Bagawat and the Fatimid mausoleums, will served him as models to roof his first experimental farms and the houses in New Gourna.

During every epoch, the elementary technology of mud brick has been a traditional material in Egypt, particularly in rural areas. The material itself, at immediate disposal, and the fabrication of the raw bricks, dried in the sun, is simple and low-cost. By applying the system of catenary vaults which he improves, one can build a house entirely in earth. The building of such a house requires only two persons.

This innovative formal language of Hassan Fathy at the time of its creation will have a long posterity in Egypt and around the Mediterranean. Today, in Egypt, one commonly uses the term of “Hassan Fathy style” even if it does not design raw earth constructions but designs any architecture using vaults and domes. Numerous tourist settlements and holiday houses reveal this general gusto.

Exceptional character and uniqueness of New Gourna:

In the aftermath of the Second World War, the idea and the execution of the village of New Gourna constitute an experience without precedent. It is both unique in its time and premonitory of the preoccupations that were to come. The idea of a self-help system among the peasants so they can build their own houses adapted to the climate with a simple and low-cost technology is an exception. Hassan Fathy was sensible to the question of social housing as an architect and as a man and sincerely wished to enhance the living condition of the peasants. He invented a model housing plan, based upon constructive and typological models from the historical range of Egyptian constructions. This concern for re-linking with the lost traditional know-how embraces the theories underlying the question of sustainable development.

Because of the extreme abundance of heritage from all epochs, Egypt is essentially preoccupied by antiquities, Islamic and Coptic arts and does not yet recognise the more recent heritage; this is why the concern for the village of New Gourna has not been considered as a priority. Nevertheless, it constitutes an exceptional cultural conception and heritage.

The New Gourna, Hassan Fathy’s pilot project, which has been partially constructed, is at present abandoned and in peril. Even though the theatre and the mosque have been restored and are in a good state of conservation, some of the buildings suffer from lack of maintenance and savage transformations. Other buildings, like the boys’ school and the art crafts hall of the village, have been purely and simply destroyed.Consequently…

The professors of the Department of Art History and of Masters in Environmental Sciences of Geneva University in Geneva, take the initiative to demand for an international registration of the New Gourna as a “Listed Heritage.”

H.N.

Being A Mother

BEING A MOTHER

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded "just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Thursday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our 'date'."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I read the menu as her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mother sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favour," I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie time!

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again. . .. but only if you let me treat you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined," I answered. A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to go help her.

Sometime later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the restaurant Mother and I had dined at. An attached note said: "Dear son - I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I would be able to be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your lovely wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I love you" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than our family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off until 'some other time.'

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.... that somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first....that somebody doesn't have two or more children.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labour and delivery....that somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten...or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a Mother can stop worrying after her child gets married....well that somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a Mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a Mother's job is done when her last child leaves home....that somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your Mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her... that somebody isn't a Mother.

Pass this message along to all the "Mothers" in your life and to everyone who ever had a mother. This isn't just about being a Mother; it's about appreciating the people in your lives while you have them....no matter who that person is:

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle".

H.N.

Quotes from Congressmen & Congresswomen

Real quotes from congressmen & congresswomen in the USA!

Written by an American:

Why Our Country Is In TroubleA Washington DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble! True Events!

1. I had a Maine Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. She interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ." Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ,"Her response - ......(I'm too polite to write it down!)

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada ?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1 hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?"

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant. He replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these damn planes have numbers on them."

10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smart-ass!"

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."

Now you know why the US Government is in the shape that it's in!

H.N.

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies!

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.


H.N.

Second Wives

Second Wives

By Hoda Nassef


Having a second wife here in Egypt, does not mean that the grieving widow finally remarried, nor does it mean that the divorced man chose his proper mate and had a second chance; it means that he has two wives, both alive, and sometimes actually living under the same roof!

In the ‘Islamic World’, men can have more than one wife. A foreign friend recently told me, ‘Lucky Egyptian men…they can have TWO wives!’ I answered, ‘Not all, and not really lucky, but silly, as marrying second wives in Islam should be under strict Islamic rules.’

This is a repeated and gross misinterpretation of the facts in Islamic marriages, seen through the eyes of most foreigners, and most religions as well.

Strange as it may seem, the poorer and less educated men often have a wife or two, and maybe three! They marry more than once, although they are less able to afford even the ‘first’ wife, than the ‘upper class’ men, and can barely support her, let alone support himself plus a second wife. They would rather be a ‘polygamists’ - (in the eyes of the Europeans) – than commit the BIG immortal and immoral sin and be eternally cursed to damnation for fornication outside of wedlock!

On the other hand, many ‘educated’ men prefer to have secret illicit affairs, than get caught with their pants down by their wives! Having affairs here, as elsewhere abroad, is quite common – and kept ‘under cover’. He might brag about it to his close male friends, but acts pious in public and portrays the image of The Perfect Husband and citizen.

As for the majority of the ‘Second Wives’ who know in advance that their husbands are already married, many young ladies target men who are already well off, have good careers, and are financially stable if not actually rich, rather than wait years for young suitors or boyfriends to reach that status, and find it a sort of conquest to take another (and much older) woman’s husband.

The Second Wives usually calculate that they will have to put up with the hassles of the First Wife as well as problems from children of the first marriage, along with the husband’s wrinkles and perhaps impotency, as a price to pay for the ‘easy road’ to wealth and status, knowing that they will be properly pampered by the foolish husbands for marrying someone much younger than the First Wife; cunningly knowledgeable that the husbands’ psyche or egos are easily vulnerable and inflated for having such a catch at their Twilight Age. Consequently, neither of the newlyweds have any remorse for breaking up the first marriage, if it comes to that.

Having two wives is not outlawed in Islam, as in Christianity. However, there are new-founded laws to protect the first wife’s rights – the foremost is that she must be told in advance from her spouse that he is marrying another woman. She then has the option to either stay married, or ask for a divorce.

Usually she remains married, if he does not prefer to divorce her, simply because she has no other means of livelihood. Sometimes she is even relieved, being already frigid from long years of insignificant sex or none at all. As long as he kept the money rolling in, she didn’t mind!

But, laws are meant to be broken, and not obeyed, and usually the First Wife finds out about the Second wife, only at her husband’s funeral!

Paradoxically, is statistically known that women out-number men now worldwide, by almost four times. Is that perhaps one of the reasons Allah has allowed a Moslem man to marry more than one – up to and not exceeding four. It is seen as a sort of sanctuary for Single Women, if they chose to be a ‘dorra’ (second wife) - and a Safety Zone for lusty men not to stray.

There are various other reasons why a single woman may marry a man who is already married, and vice versa. As one strange example, I know a lady who married years ago, with the full knowledge that her man was already married. She also had a couple of bad marriages in her past, and he seemed a ‘good catch’ even then, for a divorced young woman. They stayed very happily married for several years, until he passed away. She was much younger than her husband, and has many more years ahead of her, but would not want to remarry because she would lose her pension from her deceased husband.

Both wives attended the funeral, but avoided each other like the plague. Later on…much later, I asked her, ‘Why did you REALLY marry him? You had a job, a child from the first marriage, a nice flat in the suburbs, plus a beach house.’ Her surprising answer was: ‘We played Bridge or Poker almost every night and had our own poker game ongoing for years, with the same group. Poker nights, with a couple of drinks, made life worth living. His wife hates cards.’ You could have knocked me with a feather! But I put on MY poker face, nodded quickly and politely agreed, while I hurried to the door after barely saying a brief goodbye!

As another example, in the eyes of an upper-class man who married a Second Wife, while dining at the Automobile’s Club downtown, I asked the distinguished middle-aged gentleman why he re-married - (after 25 years of happy matrimony!) - since his First Wife was such a wonderful woman, pretty, liked and respected by everybody, and raised their children to be happy and successful citizens, as well. His new wife was ‘a virgin’ when they married, according to him, and obscenely much younger than both of them – almost their own children’s age.

Without blinking, he drawled out, ‘You know, the same old story: stimulus. She made me feel young again.’

To each his own! She exploited him for his status and wealth, but he also exploited her youth and beauty.

H.N.

The Many Faces of Hilarious Hillary!

The Many Faces of Hilarious Hillary!

(Sorry ya madam! I don't really know you, so you might be a nice person. Thank God for YOU...that I'm not an American, or they might vote for ME instead!!!)

H.N.

The Story of Mother's Day

The Story of Mother's Day

By Hoda Nassef

The earliest Mother's Day celebrations can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. During the 1600's, England celebrated a day called "Mothering Sunday". Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent (the 40 day period leading up to Easter*), "Mothering Sunday" honoured the mothers of England. During this time many of the England's poor worked as servants for the wealthy. As most jobs were located far from their homes, the servants would live at the houses of their employers. On Mothering Sunday the servants would have the day off and were encouraged to return home and spend the day with their mothers. A special cake, called the mothering cake, was often brought along to provide a festive touch.

As Christianity spread throughout Europe, the celebration changed to honour the "Mother Church" - the spiritual power that gave them life and protected them from harm. Over time the church festival blended with the Mothering Sunday celebration. People began honouring their mothers as well as the church.

In the United States Mother's Day suggested in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe (who wrote the words to the Battle hymn of the Republic) as a day dedicated to peace. Ms. Howe would hold organized Mother's Day meetings in Boston, Mass. ever year. Later on, a Father's Day was announced, during a separate month.

In 1907 Ana Jarvis, from Philadelphia, began a campaign to establish a national Mother's Day. Ms. Jarvis persuaded her mother's church in Grafton, West Virginia, to celebrate Mother's Day on the second anniversary of her mother's death, i.e. the 2nd Sunday of May. By the next year Mother's Day was also celebrated in Philadelphia.

Ms. Jarvis and her supporters began to write to ministers, businessman and politicians in their quest to establish a national Mother's Day. It was successful as by 1911 Mother's Day was celebrated in almost every state. President Woodrow Wilson, in 1914, made the official announcement proclaiming Mother's Day as a national holiday that was to be held each year on the 2nd Sunday of May.

While many countries of the world celebrate their own Mother's Day at different times throughout the year, there are some countries such as Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium which also celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May.

In Egypt, the late Egyptian journalists and twin bothers Ali and Moustafa Amin, emulated Mother's Day to be celebrated on 21st of March of each year, just as they emulated and adapted the global Valentine's Day that is celebrated on the 14th of February, to make it an Egyptian 'eid el hobb' (Feast of Love) on November 4th instead. However, some sources in Egypt later preferred to call it 'Family's Day', making it more profitable commercially.

In any case, I take this opportunity to wish all beloved and noble mothers, grandmothers and aunts, a Very Happy Mother's Day!

H.N.

Leap Year

LEAP YEAR

By Hoda Nassef

I just realized that this February has 29 days! So, it is ‘leap year’ as they call it. I looked it up for precise definition: Leap Year is a noun. Definition: A year in the Gregorian calendar having 366 days, with the extra day, February 29, intercalated to compensate for the quarter-day difference between an ordinary year and the astronomical year.

While I was going to school and living in America with my family, Leap Year meant that any female had the right to run after any man of her choosing, for a date to start with, and even proposing marriage was considered ‘ethical’ and alright!

Not now. Women are bold even in the Middle East, and run after men anyway, but with more guile and cleverness. They even propose marriage, yet make their unaware ‘victims’ think that they are the ones who proposed marriage to them! After all, men here, and most men all over the world, still like to think that they are the ‘Hunters’ and the little women are their ‘Preys’!!!

But in Islam, we should not forget that it is actually ‘proper’, as Sayeda Khadiga actually proposed to Prophet Mohamed (P.B.U.H.) – AND she was also 15 years older.

On the other hand, nobody is remotely close to sayedna Khadiga, nor will there ever be again another Messenger of Allah...our last holy Prophet.


H.N.

Six Ways to Prevent Alzheimer's Disease

Six Ways to Prevent Alzheimer's Disease

Alzheimers' symptoms can start in your forties. Main symptoms begin with forgetfulness. A person starts to forget things, and concentration as well as memory diminishes bit by bit. Main cause is due to stressful outside factors, such as a stressful environment, worries and emotional stress.

What follows are six important food and lifestyle factors that can dramatically reduce your risk of developing Alzheimer's disease.

1. Drink Vegetable Juices
A study published in the September issue of the American Journal of Medicine indicates that people who drink three or more servings of fruit and vegetable juices per week have a 76 percent lower risk of developing Alzheimer's disease compared to people who drink less than one serving per week.

2. Ensure Regular Intake of Omega-3 Fatty Acids
A study published in the Journal of Neuroscience indicates that a diet high in omega-3 fatty acids, dramatically slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease in mice (building and maintaining a healthy nervous system).

3. Strive To Reach and Maintain A Healthy Body Weight For Your Height
According to research that was presented at the 58th annual meeting of the American Academy of Neurology in April of 2006, people who are overweight when they are in their 40s have a greater risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease later in life than those who are not overweight when they are in their 40s.

4. Enjoy Activities That Mentally Stimulate You
If your daily work doesn't require you to solve problems and be creative, consider adopting hobbies that do.

5. Avoid Aluminum
According to the National Institutes of Health, 'certain aluminum compounds have been found to be an important component of the neurological damage characteristics of Alzheimer's disease.'

The most common sources of aluminum exposure are:

· Processed cheese and cornbread
· Some over-the-counter drugs such as antacids and buffered aspirin
· Aluminum cookware, especially when alkaline foods (like green vegetables) or acidic foods (like tomatoes) are cooked in them
· Antiperspirants

6. Avoid Vaccines and Other Potential Sources of Mercury

The most common sources of mercury exposure are:

· Amalgam dental fillings
· Seafood, particularly large fish that are high in the food chain
· Broken compact fluorescent light bulbs

H.N.

Law of The Seed!

Law of the Seed

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree and each apple has ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds! We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?" Nature has something to teach us here.

IT'S TELLING US:

“Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow”.

So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."

THIS MIGHT MEAN:

You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.

And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.

We stop feeling like victims.

We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.

Laws of nature are not things to take personally.We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN OTHER WORDS:

Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds.

When things are beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:

- You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
- You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
- Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!
- That's what miserable people do!

ON THE OTHER HAND, LET'S SAY YOU EXPECT THAT:

-Friends SHOULD return favours.

-People SHOULD appreciate you.
-Planes SHOULD arrive on time.

-Everyone SHOULD be honest.
-Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won'thappen!
So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

THERE'S A BETTER STRATEGY:

Demand less, and instead, have preferences!

For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:

"I would prefer this, but if that happens, it’s OK too!"

This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day.

You prefer sunshine ... but if it rains, it is ok too!

TO BECOME HAPPIER, WE EITHER NEED TO:

a) Change the world, or

b) Change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking!

IN A NUTSHELL:

It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem.

It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness; it's how you think about what happens to you!

H.N.